Forty-Eighth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O' Babes Special thanks to Wendy Padbury for the use of some great comic material Serial VV - The Evasion - The Doctor decides to go to 20th century earth for a change. Calling on his old friend Professor Depravers he discovers his home is now overtaken by a group of meddling kids. Making friends with Daphne the Doctor discovers that Shaggy and his dog have disappeared during an investigation of International Sextromatics, the major supplier of the world's marital aids. The Doctor visits the firm and is approached by it's owner, Tobias Witherspoon. Witherspoon wishes to show the Doctor his entire catalogue of items and the Doctor only survives by running away in time to some incidental music by the Monkees. Whilst running with a large vase on his head the Doctor smashes into Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart who is also suspicious. The Brigadier is the head of the newly formed WANK (World Allied Nations Killingforce) which has a public code name of UNIT (United Nations Iced Tea). The Brigadier wishes to join forces with the Doctor but must be certain he can be trusted. A long interrogation proceeds involving the Brigadier asking the Doctor questions about his relationship with the young Daphne and him evading them in anyway possible. After some fancy legal footwork the Doctor makes a mockery of the Brigadier's interrogation and becomes an honorary WANKer. After all at least the Brigadier now knows that the Doctor won't give up information about what REALLY happens at HQ. Meanwhile Zoe and Daphne have been captured by the evil Witherspoon, who is forcing Shaggy and his dog to develop the Munchie Mentor, the purpose of which is to generate hungry impulses. The Doctor discovers that Witherspoon is shagging the Cybermen -- but too late. The Cybermen manage to arouse Earth's population and launch an invasion through the record and adult film industry. By firing a missile into space the Doctor is able to create a wave of envy amoungst the Cyberconquerors. Cleverly the Doctor asks them to use their hideous devices on his already galactic libido and he shorts them all out. The Cybermen are left completely impotent. With the help of those meddling kids the Doctor unveils that Mr. Witherspoon was a Cyberman all along. With this leaked to the press the entire Cyberporn industry collapses. This is the first UNIT story (but definitely NOT the first WANK one) and the last Cyberman story for quite some time. Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who Evades Again! Doctor Mysterio - Jail Bait A Go Go The Mystery Machine & The Cybermen Coloring Book Fluffs - Troughton seemed dazed for most this story "Do you want a Scibby snack?" "Scooby! Bring your dog, Shaggy...oh..wait..that's not right." Fashion Victims - Zoe wearing a 12 foot long python Goofs - The backround is obviously looped in many scenes. Didn't the Doctor realise that the Mystery Machine was BOUND to be bigger on the inside than on the out? In episode three the Cyberman that "jumps" on Zoe is obviously an empty costume (why couldn't *I* be in that costume?! I'd have worked for free!) Zoe and Daphne's knickers are frequently revealed (something tells me this is one of those INTENTIONAL director mistakes) Why does Fred continue to delegate tasks to Shaggy who is obviously incompetent? Technobabble - The Doctor makes the TARDIS invisible by "Inversing the flip flop override on the budget circuits". Links - Apparently some people have compared this story to some little known American children's cartoon, I just don't buy it. Dialogue Disasters - BRIGADIER: I think those crazy meddling kids have gone off to the sewers to get photographs of the Cybermen! BENTON: Sir, you didn't get the role..please just get over it. CYBERMAN: I didn't want to spend my time crawling around in the sewers! I wanted to be! I wanted to be.....A LUMBERJACK! (and the entire scene that follows) Dialogue Triumphs - WITHERSPOON: My body may be cybernetic but my mind stays dirty! DOCTOR: You're an evil man, Witherspoon! You're sadistic. You're a meglomaniac. You're insane. I pity you. But given half the chance, damn I'd like to be you! WITHERSPOON: The world is weak, vulnerable, a mess of breakfast cereals and automobiles. It's needs a strong, single mind, a leader to deliver it milk and cookies and bathe with it in the glow of oppression and happiness. DOCTOR: What are you on about? WITHERSPOON: I read that on a fortune cookie once. DOCTOR: ALL THAT? ON A FORTUNE COOKIE??? WITHERSPOON: It was JUMBO size. I got them down at the new chinese restaurant on Leicester Road. They're quite good. DOCTOR: Oh well that explains it! Do they have pork chow mein? WITHERSPOON: Of course. DOCTOR: Well then how about we go out for Chinese and we can forget this whole world domination business? WITHERSPOON: (holding up a pistol) I'm afraid not. First you must die. DOCTOR: Well I can't die FIRST then go out for Chinese now can I? Don't be ridiculous! WITHERSPOON: Oh I suppose you're right. Sorry. I wasn't thinking things through obviously! DOCTOR: No problem. I understand. Do you drive? WITHERSPOON: Maybe all I need is a nice warm, comfy hug and then I wouldn't have to kill. DOCTOR: Don't look at me weirdo! The Doctor after being hooked up to the International Sextromatics Total Gelatin Therapy Fun Time Device - "You've got to turn me on! You've got to turn me on!!!" JAMIE: Well looks like they didn't write enough dialogue for me this week. Well you know...sometimes these things run a bit short. Nothing we can do about it really.....goodnight. Rumors & Facts - By late 1968 the Cybermen had become simply too disturbing for the viewers at home. People were complaining, several people went insane, and their very appearance on the programme caused riots and social unrest - worst of all they weren't making the BBC as much money as they used to. So the BBC decided to give the cyberfiends a bit of a rest until they could again become marketable. Meanwhile this has lead to a quite unusual gap in the Cyberhistory. Many story ideas have been tossed around that would have the 3rd Doctor encounter the Cybermen and even later 2nd Doctor cyberadventures. So far these have been met with little or no success. The reason being that the tradition of them being away during this period of the Doctor's life is so firmly established in the mind's of fans. However ex-star of Doctor Who, Wendy Padbury, who played Zoe, has finally changed the situation. She created a whole new race of everyone's second favorite foes which will appear for the first time in her upcoming Past Doctor Adventure story titled "Origins Of The Cidermen". In this book we will discover how post-Evasion Cybermen left their sexual lusts behind in the late 60s and started a plot for world domination by slipping LSD into the world's supply of apple juice. It is developments like this in Doctor Who that keep it fresh and alive in fiction. In order to show my support of Wendy Padbury and her excellent Cidermen concept, I will personally shoot anyone who posts a bad review of her book. You have been warned. Thank you, and goodnight.