Forty-First Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O' Wall's Extreme Special Thanks to Gary Wilkins for massive amounts of submitted material used in this entry!! Serial OO - The Ice Cream Vendors - The TARDIS is caught in an intergalactic vat of a combination of Jell-o and KY Jelly. The Doctor is extremely excitied by this and wants to cover his two companions, Jamie and Victoria, in it. However, the TARDIS, alarmed that the Doctor might get some, breaks free and lands in a lot of snow. The Doctor groans and moans in frustration instead of pleasure. He is upset that it's so cold but then gets excited because he can see Victoria's nipples. They find a base where the scientists inside are desperately trying to convert snow into flavourful ice-creams. They are in desperate trouble. The last one to eat it, a sexually frustrated tart named Penley, has gone beserk and is shagging bears and a big chap in the Woods. They are alarmed. Naturally, the Doctor must meddle here because, well, he just adores Ice Cream. Victoria says that she doesn't and Jamie gets all defensive, mostly because he isn't wearing anything under his kilt and his naughty bits are frozen stiff! The Doctor is amazed to discover the scientists are using a Dustbin as a computer! The Dustbin is equipped with a rotatory phone that is supposed to allow any chemical blend of ice cream in the universe to be available however turns out that all it can REALLY offer up is a disgusting flavour, "Dirty Dust Delicacy". The Dustbin is watched closely by the Doctor as it sits in the middle of the complex trying to come up with any creative new dessert to justify it's job. With the Dustbin's help, the scientists discover and ancient ice-cream truck. The Doctor suspects that it uses gasoline and may have been frozen long enough for the really good flavours to be available. He then escapes to view it with Jamie and Victoria. They find a frozen ice-cream vendor. The vendor is thawed and decides to churn them all into a new flavour, Scientist Pasty, and he goes back to his truck to revive his mates. Unfortunately, Victoria blunders in the way and she is taken, screaming about hating ice cream, with him. The Doctor, worried that his hottest companion yet will become Mint Chocolate Victoria before he can shag her, gets all distressed and decides to take some action. Several people offer assistance but he decides to solicit the help of the tart Penley to release Victoria. The Doctor figures that if she shags bears it won't be difficult for him to get into her cheap futuristic plastic clothes. She seems all to willing but her clothes are computerized and seem only to accept the advances of large hairy men and farm animals. The Doctor again moans and groans in deep frustration. Meanwhile Victoria is apparently ready to be dropped into a vat of Praline. Just when the Ice Cream Vendors are about to rip off her clothes to make it easier to process her, the Doctor and Penley, along with Jamie, who rubs his kilt in an attempt to not have his bits shrivel to the size of a pea, save Victoria from becoming flavour of the day. Jamie warms when he has Victoria sit on his lap during the ride home and his naughty bits certainly feel better! The scientists, now Penley has decided to stop wanking about and is ready to help, decide to launch a new flavour of snow-cream at the vendors, who are now trying to break down their doors and sell them ludicrous flavours of ice-cream. "Mango Cherry Vanilla Burnt Toast Supreme with Wafers anyone? C'mon- it's Hot!" They launch their supreme Killer-Flavour, "Pineapple Cyanide Reality Twinkle" and the Ice Cream Vendors consume it. Too late they realize it will melt all of them because it is really horrid. Despite the obvious fact that he had nothing to do with it, the Doctor claims all the credit and says he is taking the rights to the novel. A chap named Brian Hayles comes in offering the Doctor millions of pounds if he can take the rights to the book. The Doctor, desperate to shag Victoria inside the TARDIS with Jamie watching, decides to take his offer and he wanders off to deposit the check. The TARDIS leaves with the Doctor wondering what Victoria Surprise would taste like.... Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who And The Flavourful Ice Cream Vendors I was a Doctor Who Ice Cream Man Wall's Guide To Sexual Ice Cream Delights Fluffs - Troughton seemed hungry for most this story "Iccccccceeeee CCCream ISSSSSSSSSS SSeeeeexxxxy, Sssssmeg!!!!!" "But if these Ice Cream vendors are knowledgable in IceCrema..Icechronology..Ice...ahhh f*(