The One Hundred and Twenty-Sixth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O' Midnight Confessions Serial 6C - Serial 6C - A Concorde has just vanished into thin air. This proves deeply annoying, especially to the passengers. Meanwhile, inside the TARDIS Tegan pleas that the Doctor break the Laws of Time to save Adric. The Doctor refuses, reminding his companions that Adric would have wanted it that way - as he was suicidal to start with. The companions burst into tears, but in an effort to cheer up himself and his companions the Doctor decides to take them to the zoo. This proves an incredibly unpopular tactic however. Tegan feels the Doctor is being heartless with his solution, of a bit of candy floss and looking at monkeys, to stopping the pain experienced by the loss of an exploding roommate. After leaving the zoo the TARDIS encounters heavy turbulence, as it has been caught in the wake of a time travelling Concorde. The Doctor is forced to make an emergency landing at Heathrow Airport in the mid-1980s. Airport security is shocked to find a police box suddenly appearing at the airport, citing that although it is completely bizarre and unusual, there is one other similar case on record from Gatwick Airport in 1966. The Doctor pops out of the TARDIS to register a very serious complaint - he's checked his flight plans and no time travelling Concordes are suppose to be anywhere NEAR 1980s Earth. He threatens the airport authorities that he is empowered to call forth an investigation, as he does happen to be the president of Gallifrey -- to his annoyance everyone plays dumb - but they do brief the Doctor on the mystery disappearance of a Concorde. The Doctor listens and explains that he can only solve the mystery if they will recklessly endanger another crew and another Concorde - the airport controller immediately agrees. The Doctor reaffirms that humans are his favourite species. The Doctor, Nyssa Tegan, and the new Concorde crew fly off in exactly the same course as the previous missing Concorde, and just to prove the definition of insanity is "Doing the same thing and expecting different results", they vanish through a time warp. All seems normal when they disembark, until Nyssa begins to speak in tongues and listen to Judas Priest albums backwards. The Doctor realizes that the free cocktails onboard the Concorde have been spiked with LSD. Nyssa is suffering from a bad trip, and the others are all soon to follow. The Doctor urges them to see past the perceptual illusions and to concentrate on the details of their surroundings. When they start to believe their heads are clearing, the Doctor informs them that the Concorde has travelled back 140 million years due solely to the will of a green guy with a big lightbulb. The companions simply assume the Doctor is also hallucinating, or that they are hallucinating the Doctor hallucinating -- or something -- either way it's gone all foogley. Things don't get any better when they see grey blobs of matter appear from nowhere and transport them away in a boiling grey fog. Tegan and Nyssa are now entirely sure that reality has completely called it quits, and the Doctor secretly wonders if he enjoyed one too many of those little brown bottles of Irish Cream. Historically, things take a wrong turn when The Doctor and his companions are contacted by Sigmund Freud, a passenger from the original missing Concorde. Freud was able to resist the illusion when he was first brought here; however, he believes that they have been hijacked by aliens who obviously experienced some sexual tensions between the ages of 8 and 11, which has caused them to try to "dominate" other races. Freud deduces that the aliens sexual motivations control their every move - and of course, as always, they desire to kill their fathers and show their mothers a bit of a good time in the back of their flying saucer. The Doctor mentions that as these aliens are merely complex proteins brought together by a psychic mass unconsciousness, they don't have any fathers to kill or any mothers with which to fornicate. Freud is frankly disbelieving - stating that these laws are universal and the aliens would simply attach to mother and father figures to substitute for the lack -- because that's what he would do. Ignoring Freud's complex theory of the aliens' need to achieve cathexis with their victims, The Doctor finds his way to the green man of the hour, the guy who's made this all possible -- Kalid! Kalid claims to be the fifth Beatle, and therefore to have learned the magical arts from Ravi Shankar, but the Doctor isn't convinced. The Doctor wonders who this mysterious Kalid might truly be - he doesn't recognise the species. Tegan, Nyssa, Freud, and a few passengers suggest that it might be an elaborate disguise, intended to trick him. The Doctor considers this - "Yes, but who do I know, who's evil AND a master of disguise? It just doesn't add up." After this comment, Nyssa is convinced by some random intuition, that the answer to this mystery is at the end of a long maze of corridors, that lead deep into the inner sanctum of Kalid. Nyssa rushes off into the corridors, followed by Tegan. Kalid sees their advances and attempts to fend them off with illusions -- including Adric begging for his life. Back in the main chamber of Kalid, the all powerful, the Doctor is playing a painful game -- painful to watch that is. Kalid has given the Doctor fifty guesses at his true identity, and so far he's totally struck out - getting so desperate as to guess Victor Hugo, Margaret Thatcher, and Spiderman. Kalid is brought to the breaking point by questions like "Are you bigger than a bread box?". And finally gets so annoyed that he simply rips off the mask in anger and reveals his true identity - THE BASTARD! Now that the Bastard has revealed himself he explains his clever masterplan in detail to the Doctor - He has captured the bodies of Xeraphin, a legendary race believed wiped out by bad turkey. He has used the powers of the time lords to meld the entire race of the Xeraphin into a single gestalt - and this will of course power his TARDIS -- in some way. The Doctor asks why he needs to summon the energies of a melded race of legendary beings, as all TARDISes are powered by a blackhole which is an infinite source of energy. The Bastard seems taken aback by this observation - but assures the Doctor that melded legendary race energy is a lot more chic. The Bastard explains that the only missing element to his plan was the technical knowledge in temporal biodynamics, which he knows the Doctor did an O Level in. The Doctor will assist him -- or DIE! The Doctor thinks this is all simply too convenient. How did the Bastard know the Doctor would be on the time travelling Concorde? How did the Bastard select the exact time and place a Concorde would occupy in 140 million years time? The Bastard calmly explains that he didn't actually know the Doctor would be on that particular plane at that particular moment. Instead he simply worked out that if he landed on earth, in England, at any point in it's history, he'd never have to wait more than 6 months to encounter the Doctor purely by accident. As the Doctor uses his universal time travel space device, TARDIS, to pick up a lot of easy tart on Earth. The Doctor denies this, unconvincingly. In any case, the Bastard needs the Doctor's help and they agree that they will work together on the other side of the time corridor - at Heathrow Airport. When they arrive at Heathrow airport the Doctor asks Tegan to leave the TARDIS with a neutronwrangler, offering it to the Bastard in exchange for a triphase coil. As soon as Tegan leaves and begins to approach the Bastard's TARDIS, the Doctor rushes to the console and dematerialises. Leaving Tegan to almost certain death in the hands of the Bastard. After take off, the Doctor confesses his love to Nyssa. Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who And The 20 Questions of Death Time Lust: An Anthology of Doctor Who Erotica Scarf Magazine #10, article "Is Peter Davison the Anti-Scarf?" Fluffs - "I think, travel wise, we are many light earths from..Earth." Goofs - Heathrow's air traffic control consists of one guy and a can of beer. Technobabble - "You've consolidated the entire race of the Xeraphin into one biological Matrix?? But...isn't that a bit..squishy?" Links and References - The Doctor, Tegan and Nyssa discuss Adric's death, sadly without using such words as "cool", "awesome", and "blammo!". Thus proving definitively, that I did not write this script. Untelevised Misadventures - The Doctor mentions the he was once a red post box in Oxford. How this is possible remains a mystery. Groovy DVD Extras - Over a dozen failed guesses of Kalid's true identity including "Rik Mayall" and "Henry VIII" Dialogue Disasters - ---- Nomination for Lamest Cliffhanger Moment - Nyssa: You LOST the guessing game?? What does that mean? Doctor: It means - THE BASTARD HAS FINALLY DEFEATED ME! ---- ---- Tegan and Nyssa confront illusions - Adric: PLEASE!! Don't step closer! You'll kill me! Nyssa: It must be an hallucination. A side effect from our acid trip. Tegan: Can we take that chance? Adric: Nyssa! Listen to Tegan! GO!!! Nyssa: Wait! Tegan! Look at Adric. He's not wearing the trendy interlocking man symbol necklace! Tegan: The one the Cybermen gave him. Nyssa: Yes. And he'd never take that off. (They step forward as Adric vanishes) (A new illusion appears) Nyssa: (SCREAM!) AHHHHH!!!! Tegan: What is it? Nyssa: The sea lion that killed my father. ---- Dialogue Triumphs - --- The CLASSIC scene in which the Bastard becomes frustrated Doctor: I don't know who you are Kalid, but you won't get away with this whoever you are! Bastard: (rips off mask in total annoyance) For Christ's sake Doctor! It's me okay! The Bastard! Remember me? Doctor: OHH! Of course! The South Gallifreyian accent should have tipped me off really. Bastard: Doctor this is just getting embarrassing. I only dress up like this because I'm hoping to get a cheap laugh when you don't recognise me for 10 or 15 minutes. BUT HONESTLY! Why can you NEVER figure it out!? What the hell is wrong you? How many years were we roomates at the Academy? It's just like that one Halloween when I came dressed as your cousin Annette and you- Doctor: I don't think my companions need to hear that just at the moment! --- --- Tegan: We could go back and save Adric. Doctor: NO! Never ask me to do that ever again! There are laws of time even the TARDIS can not break. Tegan: But Doctor.. Doctor: And change your own history? Nothing can change what we saw. Adric is dead. Tegan: We could go back one second before the explosion, and pull him into the TARDIS! We saw the Cyberbase explode, but we didn't actually SEE Adric DIE. Doctor: ...Right. Well I was rather hoping you wouldn't have noticed that detail. But the answer is STILL NO! --- The classic love scene at the end of part 4 - Doctor: Nyssa, you can't imagine how long I've wanted to be with you, alone. Nyssa: Alone? Doctor: Yes! Haven't you noticed how quickly I cleared out the TARDIS? First Adric, now Tegan...but, that's not important now. What is important is that I love you. Nyssa: Why didn't you say something before? Doctor: I know it's silly. But I was worried. Thinking, you know? Wondering if, a space princess like you would ever consider settling down with a homeless renegade like me... Nyssa: Not really. Doctor: Oh..yes...well.. Nyssa: But don't worry -- we could still fuck. Doctor: (Awkward pause) Alright. ------------------------------------------------------------ Viewer Quotes - "Serial 6C suffers from the same problem as many of the other stories of this period - it's crap." - Blunt Review Weekly, (June 13th, 1994) "Serial 6C was the worst story in an otherwise, somewhat crappy season. It just sort of, sealed it's fate." - Tegan Dream Zine (1999) "Love is a holy union. But, off the record - Sex ain't half bad either." - Father James O' Maley (1982) "Peter Davison does a half decent head." - Jefferys, irc channel #drwhochat (December 6th, 2003 3:04am PST) Psychotic Nostalgia - "Tegan. Now there's a girl who could probably gut fish." Peter Davison Speaks! "You know, Doctor Who was a great programme to be involved with. Even when the money was short, and the imagination was short, and the props were substandard, it was still a lot of fun. Serial 6C is the best example of a lack of imagination, time, money, and effort that you can legally get away with on television. And I'm still proud to be a part of it." Rumors & Facts - Matthew Waterhouse played an hallucination of Adric, marking his final Doctor Who work. Waterhouse's acting career has been mainly confined to phone sex lines after leaving the programme. Season 19 did several brave, and several lame things. Brave because it introduced a Doctor with a completely new sexual bent than previous incarnations of the character. Brave because they killed off a companion in a failed relationship with a Cyborg. Lame because they had a false companion departure for Tegan. Lame because an otherwise remarkable season was given such a half-hearted send off. A lot of rumours abound that the staff and crew were just bored and wanted to go on vacation as quickly as possible. Tales of prop masters just picking up bic lighters and claiming they were "miniature alien ray guns" that "took days to produce" and which featured "a special flamming tip effect" are all too common in association with this story. Rumours have spread through fandom that the director was to blame for being asleep throughout the entire recording process. I don't know about you, but personally, I was worried when the writer didn't even bother to give the scripts a title and just left it "Serial 6C".