Massive Spoiler Warnings!! Those who do not want Spoilers...RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! See the ENTIRE archive and image site at - http://www.whoguide.com/ It's - The One Hundred and Seventy-Eighth Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide O' Hardcore Minimalist Techno The Doctor enters the TARDIS, and begins to activate the controls. Power surges all around him as the ship prepares to leave. Outside the ship, Rose is saying goodbye to Jackie and Mickey. She bids them farewell and as she walks inside, complete with traveller’s rucksack, Mickey watches her walk out of her life once more as Jackie makes her way back to the estate. Rose enters the TARDIS and discards her rucksack. The Doctor smiles and activates the ship. It takes off with Mickey still outside. Rose turns to the Doctor and asks where they are going. “Anywhere, as long as the fuck as it isn't here!” Episode 2.01 - New Ecstasy - Rose and the Doctor exit the TARDIS on a windy hillside. The Doctor explains that he's trying to get as far away from Rose's mother as possible, so he's taken them five billion years in the future to a distant galaxy. "I'm pretty certain she can't find us here. I mean, how would she even get the idea to come to galaxy M87 in the year 5 billion and 23?" The Doctor then proceeds to a giant building on the horizon. Up close it looks like an abandoned factory building. The only hint of any activity are some flyposts crudely glued to the walls, advertising a disco night "Torchwood Presents - Retro DJs spinning Fakebeat, NatureNoize, and Funk Jazz." Rose asks why they've come to a seedy club, and the Doctor calmly informs her that he needs to meet up with The Face of Boe. Rose thinks that the Doctor must be on a serious "save the universe" mission to keep this piece of news from her until the last possible moment. But the Doctor laughs this off "Nah. The Face of Boe is just my pusher." "Your pusher? You mean, like drugs? What do you mean?" "NO! Not "drugs". Well, methylenedioxymethamphetamine, which I guess is a bit of A DRUG...singular." "Methy...what?" "Methylenedioxymethamphetamine! It's all good, it's natural, full of vitamins, replenishes the ozone layer, that sort of business." "Doesn't sound very natural. Sounds...chemical." "Oh yeah, when I say 'natural' I do mean, made by a horribly immoral Dutch guy in some freaky backstreet lab with no quality controls and cut with rat poison. But...I tend to live in denial. What the HELL?! It's laugh, innit?" "So, what? We've come all the way to the ass end of nowhere so you can do some dodgy drug deal with The Face of Boe?" "Yeah. Pretty much. Just pickin' up some disco biscuits." "And...how long have you been doing these...'disco biscuits'?" "Oh, since Acid House." The Doctor finally breaks through the locked door of the factory and walks in. The stage is being set up and the Face of Boe is surrounded by a legion of Catwomen Nuns. "Kinky. Like the outfits! Humanoid cats dressed like nuns. Does The Face of Boe know how to party or WHAT?!" The Doctor is completely distracted by The Face of Boe and the Cat Nuns. So much so that he doesn't notice that Rose takes a small sample from the vast stores of drugs that The Face of Boe is selling to the Doctor. Only after a lengthy conversation with the Face and his girls does the Doctor remember that Rose is there and realises that something is a bit wrong. Rose is wandering around the room giggling in excitement, bouncing up and down and seemingly talking to herself. When the Doctor approaches her cautiously, Rose's eyes light up and she admits to how much she loves travelling with the Doctor. She unexpectedly grabs the Doctor's hands and begins to rub her cheek against his fingers. "Rose. They were just telling me about New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York. Apparently it's getting quite a bit old now, and they want to build an even NEWER one. Imagine that, eh?" Rose giggles and says “I love my New New Doctor.” "Right...." The Doctor obviously writes off this erratic behaviour as "human" and tells Rose to sit down and rest up for when the party starts. Rose seemingly ignores this suggestion and spends 30 minutes staring at a light bulb instead. The Doctor and the Face of Boe share a fag and talk over old times. "So, what kind of party is it tonight anyway?" "Zombie rave." "Oh! A Zombie Rave. How quaint! So a lot of young, disorganized kids coming along, smeared with fake blood, a comedy axe-to-the-head wound. That sort of thing?" "No. Real Zombies. Repetitive music, devouring of the living, that sort of vibe." "Oh...really....well that's...great...yeah......OH SHIT!" The Doctor jumps up and finds Rose, who is now dancing by herself apparently to the sound of a nearby Coca-Cola vending machine. "Feel the hum. The bass. This Coca-Cola machine. The noise. It's beautiful. It's all bright, and red, and if you kick it hard enough - YAY! Free COKE!" "ROSE! Pay attention. Hundreds of Zombies are going to be here any minute. We've got to get out of here!" "Doctor. I. I love you. You're a 900 year old god or something, and I'm just some chav." Rose unexpectedly and violently kisses the Doctor. The Doctor, for his part, is just baffled, and throws Rose over his shoulder. With Rose draped over him, he does his best to carry her away. The Doctor angrily accuses The Face of Boe and the Cat Nuns of messing with Rose's head. The Face of Boe denies responsibility but the Doctor warns that he will not tolerate it and if he is not filled in on what is going on he will loose his temper. The Face of Boe maintains it's innocence and Rose finally gives in, explaining what has happened. The Doctor feels like a bit of an ass for not foreseeing this, but re-doubles his efforts to leave the club before it's too late. But of course, it's now, officially, too late. Slowly the Zombie Ravers emerge, ready to dance, ready to kill. A steady, repetitive beat mix kicks in, that is energetic and oddly doubles for incidental music. Almost as if the DJs are so adept that they witness all the troubles faced by our heroes and respond immediately with appropriate music to show just how screwed they are. "Ohh look at the poor little Zombies, Doctor. I want to give them some hugs. They just need to be loved." "No! Remove the head or destroy the brain! Remember that Rose. Just like Shaun of the Dead, remember?" "Simon Pegg is funny." Rose laughs hysterically. "You've got red on you!" "Fuck." The Doctor runs as fast as he can with Rose once again thrown roughly over his shoulder. The zombies approach, brutally ripping apart the Cat Nuns, passing along the taint of the undead. Doctor and Rose flee down to the basement (instead of just going outside as that would end the adventure too quickly, and instead of going to the roof because it would be too logical to escape from there. Nope, when surrounded by hundreds of undead ravers, the BEST solution is always, go to the basement with no windows or access to the outside world). The zombies follow Rose and the Doctor, as they are the only fresh meat stupid enough to come to a Zombies-only Rave. The Face of Boe is thrilled - he made lots of cash off the Doctor, made even more from all the zombies who bought overpriced tickets at the door, and also got rid of these Cat Nuns who he was getting a bit tired of actually. The Doctor and Rose encounter a hiding Cat Nun, who has also tried the old "Hide in the basement" theory. After a brief conversation about how this is obviously the safest place to be, the Zombies charge into the room, disembowelling and eating the Cat Nun on the spot. Still hanging from the Doctor's shoulder, Rose witnesses the carnage and says "I can totally see where these Zombies are coming from. Inside all they want is to be held, to be touched." The Doctor thinks of possible solutions to this situation - and decides to run away some more. Luckily, the Face of Boe always prepares for emergencies, and has hidden an Instant-Zombi-Kill-O-Fry-A-Matic in the basement. "Deus ex Machina! I LOVE YOU!" Exclaims the Doctor as he uses the sonic screwdriver to activate the unit's power source thus reversing the neutron flow of the inner-field matrix and basically....well...killing the fuck out of anything and everything undead. Soon the only things standing are the Doctor, Rose, and a hastily retreating Face of Boe. Rose looks around "Did you cure all the wonderful Zombie people?" "No..well...YES. I mean, what's that old thing about not suffering an evil to live? Yeah. CURE. CURE. Sounds a lot better than massacre." The Doctor carries Rose over the steaming lumpy remains of the zombies, and they return to the TARDIS. "Raves. Aren't what they used to be. They've gone a bit...dead." says the Doctor, his face emotionless. Book(s)/Other Related - Doctor Who - Catwoman Nun Ninjas From Beyond The Sun (Japan only) Doctor Who Confidential - Time And Relative Drugs In Space That cool Doctor Who theme mix by Orbital Untelevised Misadventures - The Doctor claims to have met God at a rave in Shoreditch in 1992 AD. However he admits that on reflection, it MAY have just been a man in a very large hat. Groovy DVD Extras - A very sad and rather horrific hip hop music video tie-in featuring "Da Face Of Boe and da Kat Nunz!" with their song that didn't quite place on the charts "All Me Bitches Be Feline". Dialogue Disasters - ----- Rose: WOW! An alien planet! Doctor: Yup, they finally got the balls to acknowledge that whole "In Space" part of TARDIS. ----- Dialogue Triumphs - ----- Doctor: I’m the Doctor and if you don’t like it, if you want to take it to a higher authority then here's God's business card, but don't call him after nine pm and don't call him on a Sunday, he just doesn't like it. Otherwise, it stops with me! Rose: You've got god's business card? Doctor: Yeah...he gave it to me at a rave in Shoreditch in 1992 AD. Rose: Not in Shoreditch in 1992 BC then? Doctor: Rose...honestly, I'm TRYING to overpower a mighty evil by placing them in a state of awe and terror! Saying that I know GOD personally sometimes does the trick, but having you nitpick and ask for the entire story sort of takes the edge off. Rose: Sorry. Doctor: No problem, now where were we? OH YES! Almighty wrath! ----- Rose: Wait, you never mentioned drugs before. Doctor: Come on Rose, you didn't see the clues, the signs? Rose: What clues? Doctor: Alright, remember when we first met the Face of Boe? We were together, on that platform - I WAS DANCING TO SOFT CELL?!? Rose: Well, alright....but I just thought you were alien. Doctor: Then, when we went back to see your father snuff it? The posters in the background? The big smiley faces? The rave posters from 1987? COME ON! You must have noticed them. Rose: No..sorry...I was a bit busy watching my dad die. Doctor: Yeah! And that made it a very emotional rave night for me. I cried. Everything. Really heartbreaking stuff. The DJ went on to be one of John Peel's favourites incidentally. ------------------------------------------------------------ Viewer Quotes - "I think I preferred the Doctor when he was addicted to sex. That was much more wholesome. A positive message. I think harkening back to the early Hartnell days of severe substance abuse is just so un-21st century. What's wrong with having an allotment and a bit of shag in the shed with an anonymous passerby?" - Citizens For A Less Immoral Doctor Who (2006) "A crap story, but I made myself a nice cup of tea halfway through that actually tasted quite good and was totally refreshing, so not a complete loss." - A friend of mine who annoyingly ALWAYS looks on the bright side Russell T Davies Speaks! "Well I knew that Doctor Who would eventually have to go into space. I mean it's a big universe, and you could argue that space/time travel is rather central to the bigger theme of the Doctor Who story. I did TRY to keep them on earth throughout series 2. In fact my first premise for series 2 was that the new Doctor would decide to relax for awhile, try to settle in to later age, being 10 lives in at this point and never having had a steady job. So he'd be living at the Powell Estate while selling odd things here and there to different people on the street, and just trying to take it easy for a change. OF COURSE, round about the fourth or fifth story we'd discover that the Silurians have moved in across the road and are making a rather big mess of the place. They are reptiles, and embittered at the loss of their native world to a bunch of hairless apes. The Doctor would try to invite them around for tea, but they'd always make excuses. And it would come to real head at the season end, and set up all sort of lovely domestic disputes between The Doctor who's still trying to live in peace with the Silurians, and Mickey and Jackie who are going around, well, killing them basically. Still, I loved the idea of a Powell Estate soap opera as it were. But none of the other writers wanted that. They kept talking about the time travel aspect, and I reminded them of early Jon Pertwee, but even then he was fighting different aliens, going to parallel earths, that sort of thing. So, yeah, I finally gave in and wrote one of these alien planet stories. BUT I made sure not to make it too exotic or exciting. Tied it into Earth as much as humanly possible. Nice little handrails for the audience. The family audience isn't ready for alien planets - I mean, they hate that sort of thing in Star Wars." Billie Piper! "I can't see how you say that story supports drug use. Rose would have hugged those zombies until they ripped her poor little guts out. And she would have been so happy when that happened. I think that's sad. That's a clear message - Don't get high around zombies you don't know." David Tennant Speaks! "My performance was a bit understated as usual. Next time, next time, I'm going to have to act a bit. Be more emotive. More off the cuff and crazy. I don't want them to think that the Doctor has gone to sleep or something. I need to portray ENERGY! The same energy I had when I was eight years old and assembled my own Zygon out of Play Doh, so I could stop him from taking over the world using only my homemade sonic screwdriver! Oh great days, great days. Did I mention that I called my first ever pet dog K-9? It's true!" Rumours & Facts - BARB's Top 75 Network Programmes chart for 10–16 April has 'New Ecstasy' at Number 12 with 8.0m viewers, behind five episodes of Coronation Street (ranging from 8.6m to 11.0m viewers), four of EastEnders (8.3m to 10.3m) and two of Emmerdale (8.1m and 8.2m), making Doctor Who the fourth-highest-rated show of the week and the highest rated Sci-Fi Soap Opera. The episode also heads the Top 10 Drama chart. In the Top 25 Multichannel chart, Number 6 is the first edition of Doctor Who Confidential, 'New New Doctor' (Saturday 15, BBC3), which was also the top-rated multichannel programme on Saturday. What all this means is that - YES, Doctor Who is finally popular now. For those of you waiting for the call that you should stop liking something, even though it's still good, just because it's popular - here it is! Stop walking about with your Argos bought Sonic Screwdrivers, decorating your home with SFX magazine fold out posters of Tennant and Piper, and definitely stop eating those damn jelly babies. It's just a sad trend and fad now, and you don't want people thinking you are one of the great unwashed. No one cares that you've been at this since Doctor Who was the ghetto child of science fiction. No one will believe you. Just box away the Slitheen toys and get on to the next thing. Might I suggest taking a strong interest in J Pop? It will be ages before that catches on in a mainstream way. Go get Cibo Matto, Shonen Knife, and BoA - and maybe some weird anime themed martial aid toy. AND FOR THOSE of you who won't be running away from trendiness, might I suggest this as the optimum time for coming out of the closet? After an insanely successful first season and it's continued popularity - it's pretty much a safe bet to openly support and love Doctor Who. I put up a Peter Cushing Doctor Who poster in my office - and no one took the piss out of me. Is this a golden age of change, or what?