The Second Entry in the Charles Daniels Unauthorized Programme Guide Fiction Appendix O' 5.1 Surround SoundBF05 - The Fishmonger -
CD Blurb --------------- The owner of a first rate chippie is in a mental ward. Another's on the run. Their intended victim is covered in lard. Terrorists are planning the most fiendish lunch order in British history. A talk-show host is vaguely hungry. A Whitehall insider whispers about a mysterious speaking haddock, with a hidden agenda. And somewhere else the tea is getting cold. Everyone's got something they want you to eat. It'll only take another fad diet for the situation to erupt -- and something is pushing the books and meal planning cards. But you can trust the Doctor to order Cod and Chips. Can't you?
Plot Summary -------------- Part One Young Steven Keyser unsuccessfully attempts to assassinate Servalan Harper, the head of the British National Party. The attempt is unsuccessful, not because his gun jammed, or he brought the wrong type of ammunition, but only because he relied on a rather bony chicken to do the job. Steven hoped that he could fulfil his destiny when he fulfilled her order of Chicken and Chips, by supplying her with a "throat chokingly" good meal. When Harper doesn't choke on a chicken bone, his associate Walter Jacobs flees in terror. The monster that Steven had sensed in Harper gets to him before the security guards do - which is good, because it's only proper Doctor Who if a monster is doing the killing, and not some lame arse rent-a-cop. Some time later, shock-radio disc jockey Mick Thompson is startled when a strange man called the Doctor walks into his studio booth in the middle of a broadcast, stark naked, whilst speaking only in French. The Doctor speaks directly to the listening Walter, telling him that he's right; there is a monster out there. Unfortunately Walter hasn't taken French since secondary school, so he's not certain but he believes this naked French man has just told him over the radio "You are right; a monster lives in my trousers." Walter calls in and tells the Doctor to stop being so damned clever and just warn him in plain English. But the Doctor refuses and insists on explaining the nature of the monster to Walter in the art of mime. Sadly, this does not help over the radio. Frustrated beyond all belief Walter hangs up without telling the Doctor where he's calling from. Unphased, The Doctor continues trying to explain the situation to Walter by rubbing wine glasses so they emit deeply annoying high pitched whines. Just then Thompson recovers from the shock of having his show hijacked by a naked Frenchman with a Scottish accent. Thompson openly mocks the Doctor's claim that there's something evil out there that must be fought. The Doctor looks deep into the inner-fears locked within Thompson's mind, but discovers only mild anxieties about the possibility of faltering booksales and some rather trivial concerns over the exact dimensions of his penis. Ace then calls in, asks the Doctor to stop playing freaky mind mojo with Thompson and run off to meet her as she has located Walter. Ace found Walter hiding in his hotel room, "reading" several pornographic magazines from Switzerland and drinking heavily from the mini-bar. Walter pulls out an EXTREMELY bony piece of chicken and points it at Ace, threatening that he WILL make her eat it UNLESS she keeps talking until he's sure that she's clear of the monster that Keyser taught him to hear. She tries to convince him that there are no such things as monsters - but then remembers her own life of the last several years and shifts her argument firmly to "Well, I probably won't kill you, Walter." But when she tells him who sent her and he realizes that the man on the radio was the legendary Doctor, he flees in terror - again. The Doctor finds him in the lift, but Walter is too frightened to listen to him; Keyser had shown Walter some very questionable films made in Bangkok during the 70s - horrible, exciting, awful, disgusting, wonderful films -- and the Doctor was in all of them! Walter flees - again, again - before the Doctor can say anything to him. Having lost his one lead, the Doctor decides that humanity can go screw itself. He's had enough of their crap. To relieve the tension, the Doctor decides to go and poke fun at people in psychiatric ward for the clinically insane. To the Doctor's complete surprise, and mild annoyance, the ward he chose - "St. Mungo's Psychiatric Torture Facility For The Truly And Deeply Disturbed" - is EXACTLY where they brought Keyser to question him further. Keyser explains to the Doctor that his encounter with the Fishmonger has left him a nervous wreck; he will be consumed with terror for the rest of his life, and that is going to make it very hard to meet any girls. The Doctor carefully considers the situation and decides that he can't help him. The psychological damage is far too extensive, the technology needed unobtainable, and more to the point - he simply can't be arsed. To pass the time the Doctor decides to investigate the story behind the Fishmonger, but it won't be easy; he might have to do some actual research. "Something tells me that just typing 'Fishmonger' into Google and hoping the hits are relevant and useful just won't do for this alien menace." For a laugh though the Doctor does just that and discovers the awful truth - The Fishmonger is an ancient and terrible intelligence, unstoppable, unkillable, an immortal primal force, that travels from planet to planet, leaving it's victims with a compelling and irresistible craving for fish. "It may not sound that devious Ace, but trust me; Worlds have fallen to such cravings. Famine, hatred, fear, and a thousand million chippies, spread wherever the Fishmonger goes." In reality its efforts to stir up hunger and cravings are so pathetic that they usually go unnoticed, except by those like Keyser or Walter who are sensitive to its presence - each being proud members of "the fish 'n chip providing community" as they like to phrase it. Keyser tells the Doctor that Walter will probably try to go after Harper at the next rally, but when he realizes that the Doctor intends to stop Walter he attacks him, insisting that Harper is a monster and must be stopped. Ace and a security guard pry Keyser away from the Doctor, and the Doctor and Ace depart, no closer to a solution. If Walter kills Harper at the rally the monster will just move on to a new host, and all Walter will have done is commit murder... Harper's PR consultant, Roderick Travis, warns her of the Doctor's involvement; he used to work for the Bangkok Tourist Board, and knows the Doctor to be a menace to society and good, decent, filthy pornography everywhere! A porno nut like Keyser would no doubt also have known of the Doctor and his involvement with...well with just about everyone! Travis will therefore arrange for the police to add the Doctor to their "Kill-Repeatedly-First Ask-Questions-Later" list. Meanwhile, preparations for the rally proceed as planned, and extra security precautions are put in place in case any rebels should show up. As Harper prepares to take the stage, Travis assures her that nobody can get into the rally without their knowing it -- but unsurprisingly, he's failed to take into account transport bracelets and the TARDIS' ability to materialize out of thin air. As they search for Walter, Ace hears just enough of Harper's speech to realize that she's urging God-fearing white folk to speak up against Kebab Vans. The Doctor is more interested in the beat of the speech than in the actual words -- which makes him exactly like the speech writer. "It's sort of a great, repetitive, classic number, that just makes you want to hate, and chant, and agree, and vote." The Doctor and Ace find Walter huddled beneath centre stage with hot lard running down his fingers and a strange lump of something or other held in his hands -"Deep Fried Mars Bar, with a bit of Deep Fried Cheeseburger, and some Deep Fried Pizza. I'll make her eat this!! And if the cholesterol and salt doesn't kill her immediately - it will at least knock a good ten years off her life!" Ace tries to take the fried food away from Walter, but he quickly explains that if she comes any closer he'll eat it himself. The Doctor and Ace can't let that happen - they can't live with that on their consciences. At that moment Harper's speech is interrupted by the sound of explosions, gunfire and laser fire. Walter is convinced that the creature's war has begun, and Ace desperately lunges for him as he suicidally brings the deep fat fried concoction to his own lips... Part Two Ace manages to restrain Walter while the Doctor rips the food-like substance out of his hand. Ace drags Walter out to the street while the Doctor gleefully rushes toward the sound of gunfire. After moving the TARDIS the Doctor meets with Ace and Walter, and plans to investigate the attackers and find out what their agenda is. First they need to find a logical staging ground from which to launch their own investigation. Luckily, the Doctor remembers a man named Paul, who he once met at a pub, who told him he could spend a night at his place if he really needed to -- of course that was 13 years ago and in a different body; but still, an invitation is an invitation! Paul is somewhat taken aback when the Doctor and Ace burst into his flat, carrying a would-be assassin on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "Hello Paul! We last met at the Goose and Ferret, you were drunk and I was Tom Baker at the time, but my how things change! I hope you got that rash looked after - MY, WHAT CRAZY WEATHER WE'VE BEEN HAVING! Mind if I sleep on your couch? CHEERS!" The Doctor promptly slumps over dead as a doornail, leaving Ace and Walter to do the explaining. Twelve hours later the Doctor wakes himself up and switches on Paul's radio full blast. The entire bedsit vibrates from the noise and Paul, clad in only a bathrobe, screams at the Doctor that it's horribly late and that he has work first thing in the morning. The Doctor apologises - he can't possibly pay attention to what Paul is saying just at the moment, things are far too important at this stage and besides he can't hear him over the radio anyway. Over the radio he hears Mick Thompson playing a recorded message from Roj Karadjic, the leader of the United Front terrorists, speaking through either a vocal synthesiser or a very large paper cup -- the radio is so old and bad it's hard to tell. Karadjic tells the world that the United Front cannot tolerate the immorality of the Harper ethnic cleansing agenda; they are therefore engaging in the highly moral activity of blowing up random people and buildings until everyone sits down, thinks sensibly, and does the right thing. It all sounds like typical terrorist garbage UNTIL the Doctor notices that Karadjic has momentarily stopped his self-righteous rants in order to share with the audience his strange and unexpected new craving for trout. It appears that the Fishmonger is drawing unstable people to five star restaurants, causing further panic. Harper makes a statement deploring the violence - "After all, they didn't even have the decency to use domestically produced explosives! I mean, if that doesn't say it all!" The Doctor is forced to switch off the radio when Paul smashes it into a million pieces out of frustration and anger. The Doctor and Ace manage to calm Paul down and he settles into an uneasy sleep. When everyone mistakenly believes that Paul is actually totally asleep, and only then, does the Doctor explain his unusual theory to Ace - "Imagine a world seduced by luxury cuisine. Every restaurant, every hotel, a five star wonder. Finest spices from distant and exotic trade planets. Fresh vegetables, Lean and Healthy Meats, endless panoramic displays of colour and style - all ruled over by robotic chefs bent on perfection. Nothing cheap, nothing fast, nothing rushed or hurried..." "No chippies. Sounds awful." "EXACTLY! So what do all the chippies do? Go extinct? Out classed, out done, out evolved? Or do they fight back? Do they invest in and develop a terrible, unthinkable psychic weapon - that makes you crave cod?" "Wait a minute Professor. Are you saying, the British National Party is controlled by demon chippies from outerspace?" "PRECISELY! The horrid psychic weapons were unleashed upon cuisine world. The designs worked well, too well. Cravings for fish that could never be satisfied. Ripping apart towns, then cities, then countries, then worlds. A base, lustful craving for fish, travelling through the cosmos. Without conscience, without reason, without mercy." "Professor. I feel...hungry." "I know Ace. So do I. So do I." Paul is frankly sceptical. In an effort to show off and sound vaguely credible the Doctor builds a force field generator out of the spare parts in his junk cupboard. "Fine," says Paul. "Great. But what's the soddin' use for it?" The Doctor explains that it is a field which he can tune to any wavelength. Then, after thinking about the implications, he realises that in this situation it is actually totally useless. Defeated, the Doctor eats the entire contents of Paul's fridge and leaves. Ace and Paul follow the Doctor to the local corner shop, where, instead of the usual bored-looking check out assistant they discover a crackling blob of electric, psychic energy hovering in mid-air. The Doctor tries to put on a brave face and asks how much a box of matches would be, but Ace can see even the Doctor is scared shitless by this unexpected turn of events. When the strange, ungodly, crackling-blob of alien death calmly informs the Doctor that matches are 18p a box, the time lord decides to change his tact - "Excuse me for asking, but isn't it a bit unusual for an alien being of pure psychic hatred to be working in a corner shop? I thought you'd be over qualified." It is obvious to Ace, the Fishmonger is trying to frighten them away before they can buy any Smarties. With great indifference the blob explains that, if it so chooses, it can release a charge of its stored emotional energy into them, condemning them to a lifetime of fish desire, just as it did to Steven Keyser. Surprisingly the Doctor produces a frying pan from his jumper and gives the blob a jolly good thwack. It retreats, badly drained. "Frying pans, the arch-nemesis of fish." the Doctor explains to Paul. Just then Walter realizes that the Doctor intends to leave Harper alone once he's dealt with the Fishmonger, and in his despair he tries to choke himself on a rich tea biscuit. Ace stops him, understanding that he's terrified of what will happen if Harper gets into power, and convinces him that there's a peaceful way to stop her. Although The Doctor doesn't help matters when he says - "Peaceful?? It will take a bullet. I'm sure of it!" The Doctor later admits that he just said that to be needlessly cruel and sadistic however. Meanwhile, down the road and a bit to the left, the United Front bombs a pet store which they claim "Contained various kittens sympathetic to the racist agendas of the oppressors". Various people are horribly killed, but the Doctor and Ace didn't know any of them and they didn't advance the plot at all - so we'll just skip on. The Doctor explains that he'll have to do something before they go too far. Ace asks the Doctor if blowing up innocent kittens isn't already too far and he whaps her over the head with his umbrella. Walter reluctantly uses his contacts to arrange a meeting with the United Front, although he isn't convinced they should be stopped - he's always secretly hated cats. Upon arriving at the rendezvous, however, the Doctor, Ace and Walter are confronted by insane terrorists, dressed as giant dogs. Their encounter is witnessed by the police, however they assume it to be either a wild student prank or LSD laced coffee. Word eventually reaches Travis that the Doctor has been seen consorting with furries. Even if the Doctor manages to get away from the terrorist in one piece, he'll urgently need a flea dip AND under newly passed paranoid laws Travis has enough evidence to hold him as a suspected international terrorist (basically a totally shaky rumour has been received from an unknown source). The Doctor realizes that the terrorists are armed with rubber squeaky toys, which are outlawed on almost every civilised planet. The terrorists take their prisoners to a busy McDonalds, and the suspicious Karadjic questions them, demanding to know what they want - for lunch! Walter identifies himself and vouches for the Doctor and Ace, and Karadjic agrees to let them join up -- but the Doctor has no interest in joining the Front. He just wants to stop them from making a grave mistake before anybody gets seriously hurt -- well not counting those kittens of course. Walter, however, believes that the Front is doing the right thing by opposing Harper, and despite the Doctor and Ace's objections he agrees to join up. Now Karadjic must deal with the Doctor and Ace - quoting his favourite philosopher he explains that those who aren't with him must therefore be against him. Ace, however, refuses to let him intimidate her, and, speaking calmly and rationally, she turns around and walks towards him, knowing he doesn't really want to hurt anyone, urging him to put the gun down and let them just walk away. But instead, he shoots her. Part Three Ace is going into shock, that cliffhanger was completely against the well worn cliche of the calmly talked down gunman. The Doctor is horrified, and Walter is stunned; now that something quirky and unusual can actually happen, they are all terribly lost. This isn't what Walter wanted at all, and he refuses to join the Front unless they start acting stupid like typical fictional terrorists. To prove that they are capable of this Walter demands that they explain their entire plan, in detail and with diagrams wherever possible. Karadjic agrees to explain later, but first he calls for an ambulance which takes Ace to the hospital. Karadjic admits that he can't get over the habit of dialing 999 in an emergency even if he actually CAUSED that emergency - "It's gotten me in trouble with the police so many times, I can't tell you!" The Doctor travels to the hospital to wait for Ace to awaken. While there, he is confronted by the Fishmonger, but it can do nothing to him; he's already had an enormous breakfast and can't even THINK about eating anything else. Walter doesn't understand why Karadjic is being so accommodating to him, until Karadjic explains that he feels a strong and compelling homoerotic attraction to him -- and then Walter rather wished he still didn't understand why Karadjic is being so accommodating to him. Over the next three weeks, the United Front continues its campaign of terror and crossdressing and the political climate grows ever more fearful. The Doctor finally gets another chance at the Fishmonger when Harper agrees to make an appearance on Mick Thompson's show. The Doctor wishes he had some way to contain Harper in a small area long enough for him to tackle the monster, but WHAT could allow that? Paul reminds him of the force field generator he built in part two for no apparent reason and the Doctor finally sees an application for it. Paul installs the Doctor's force field generator in Thompson's booth, claiming that it is a security precaution -- but as another security precaution, Harper has decided to become a hyper-evolved mega-genius who is impervious to the affects of force fields - "Never know when that will come in handy in politics, darling." The Doctor is reluctant to leave Ace in the hospital, but eventually decides "What the hell?", and leaves Ace alone, unconscious, and defenceless. Soon after the Doctor departs, Walter shows up and approaches Ace, who turns out to have just been acting unconscious hoping that the Doctor would shut up and stop trying to entertain her by playing the spoons. Walter explains that he is afraid of the Doctor. He believes that the Doctor is an alien who has the power to bend minds, that he is a covert agent for rogue elements of the United Nations, AND, most disturbingly, he believes he saw a picture of him in one of those Swiss magazines he was looking over in the hotel. The Doctor dismantles the useless force field and calls Thompson, offering him an exclusive on the terrorist threat if Thompson agrees to meet him, alone, in the middle of the night, in a deserted warehouse where Ace was shot. Thompson, being a moron, agrees to do so. Ace and Walter decide to drop in at the warehouse to see what the Doctor has planned for Thompson. The Doctor has trapped Thompson in the force field, and as the terrified Thompson protests, the Doctor force feeds him fish...and to his total shock, nothing happens. When the Doctor studies the readings on his makeshift Crave-o-meter he finds that the Fishmonger is not in Thompson...and it never was. The Doctor can't understand where the Fishmonger is hiding. Perhaps Walter is just a frightened and sick young man, and is only hearing voices. Perhaps the energy blob he hassled at the local corner store was just a regular psychic energy blob going about its life, when he needlessly and unjustly hit it with a frying pan. Walter, unable to bear this revelation, collapses sobbing, but Ace still doesn't understand; what the Doctor is saying makes no sense. Or so she thinks until he speaks to her -- and she hears the tones of the Fishmonger in his voice! Part Four Ace is in no position to do anything about the monster in the Doctor's voice; A mob, ravenous for fish, is on its way to the warehouse. The Doctor has a plan to stop the hungry riot, although Ace believes he just wants to prevent her from becoming suspicious of him. He offers Thompson an exclusive interview with those responsible for the sudden fish craving suffered by humanity over the last three weeks. Thompson asks how the Doctor can possibly arrange such a meeting -- and he promises to explain later. Travis is hard at work ensuring that the media coverage of the riots is favourable to the BNP, and that party candidates are being filmed making public statements deploring the violence. The ads will be on air within the week, and the fact that Ace and Walter fled the hospital just before the riots broke out plays into their hands perfectly. Harper, however, is somewhat taken aback by Travis's unfortunate choice of words - "The voters won't even realise that we orchestrated this whole damn thing!" In fact, if she didn't know better, such comments would make her question Travis's integrity. The Doctor takes Thompson, Ace, and Walter to a safe house where Karadjic is sheltering from the mobs. The Doctor instructs Karadjic's to tell his side of the story to Thompson. Karadjic admits that there is no organisation behind the United Front -- it's just him and some like-minded friends who got together to dress up as dogs and rub each other's bellies -- and somehow, it all got horribly, terribly out of hand. Travis then arrives, calling out to Karadjic by name and telling him that it's all under control, and realizes too late that the Doctor is present. It was Travis who supplied the United Front with government-issue weapons, seeing them as a ready-made army to remove all cats from the planet earth -- and therefore removing the main mammalian competitor for the world's fish supply. The Doctor, satisfied, reveals that they've just broadcast their confession live on Thompson's show. The police arrive and arrest Travis and Karadjic, while Walter is taken to an institution for treatment; Ace assures him that he'll be well looked after, and that she will deal with the monster herself. Ace flees from the Doctor and shuts herself behind the force field so he can't get at her. On Ace's instructions, Paul has collected the freakishly horrible fried food mess which Walter was going to eat to kill Harper with a cholesterol overload, and set it up next to the force field generator. Ace tells the Doctor that she won't let the Fishmonger turn the Doctor into a a crazed vessel of hunger and unfulfilled desire; she's willing to die to save him from that. Deeply saddened, the Doctor tells her that the Fishmonger has driven into HER mind. "Look inside yourself Ace. Don't you want it so badly? Can't you just TASTE it?" "NO!! NO YOU BASTARD!! YOU WON'T MAKE ME WANT FISH!" "No I won't Ace. Because you already want it. It's already INSIDE of you!" Ignoring the lesbian subtext, Ace decides to listen to him, and she exorcises the Fishmonger - crushing it out of existence. The Doctor is sorry for what Ace has gone through, but at least he can be flattered that the worst thing she feared is that the Doctor would go bad. He LOVES how naive street smart Ace can be. He and Ace depart, having saved the world once again... from the alien fishmonger, at least. Mick Thompson, however, is back on the air, telling people to call in with their neat new diet ideas. It's time to eat carbs again. What do you want for lunch? Books/Other Related Material- The Atkins Diet OF Evil! - And - The Sushi of Death Links and References - In a conversation with Walter we get references to a previous Ace story arc - Walter: You don't understand. This Doctor. The things he has done. He walks in perversity. You can't understand. No one has EVER done anything like the things he's done. Ace: Oh I don't know, I was once wrapped up in cross-temporal incest to save the world from mannequins. Untelevised Misadventures - The Doctor finally does explain later, and apparently he created both the British National Party AND the United Front as a gag gone horribly wrong during a UNIT Christmas Party. Dialogue Train Wrecks --------------------- Doctor: You don't understand. The Fishmonger was created by an advanced pan-galactic hypercivilization with access to the resources of millions of worlds. The earth just doesn't have enough fish to satisfy these cravings! Your planet will be stripped bare and covered in malt vinegar before you know what's hit you! ------- Ace: It's a Fishmongoid from the planet Fishmongos! Dialogue Gems ------------- Doctor: Just for once I'd like to come up with a very good plan that doesn't involve lots of last minute plot holes. -------- Doctor: Are you looking for the butterfly? Ace: What, the one that beats it wings and tips the balance so the hurricane happens? Doctor: No, the one that just landed on your ice cream. Ace: Uggh, I can't eat that now! Doctor: Too bad, Mint Chip. The flavour that changes the world. -------- Travis: Isn't this the point where you arrive in the midst of chaos and sidle into the good graces of the authority figures when they're not paying attention? Doctor: No, that's on page 47. Right now we're on page 38, where I just say something terribly out of character and self-referential, as to make the author of the piece appear terribly clever and post-modern, and give him that warm, self-indulgent feeling to make the rest of his cold miserable life that much more bearable. Travis: So it's an act of pure masturbation? Doctor: No, that's on page 97. And I don't even get the batteries until scene 24. Listener Reviews ----------------- "For a story where the main enemy is a strange, nebulous desire to go to the local chippie -- it wasn't half bad." - Frank Zambini (2001) "My only complaint, is that I would have liked to have heard the 7th Doctor played by Ozzy. This is an audio programme, and I like experimentation. We all know what Sylvester McCoy sounds like as the 7th Doctor, but picture Ozzy - the 7th Doctor, drunk, high, Brummie, armed only with a question mark umbrella, a silly hat, and a vaguely hot companion in a leather jacket. That would truly capture the magic of the series for me...even if no one could understand what the hell the Doctor was saying!" - Oddball Review Monthly (Dec 2000) "The 7th Doctor and Ace are amazing in a story that is virtually faultless aside from inescapable problem... It's written by somebody who is clearly in LOVE with the McCoy era. This should have been written by someone openly hostile to Sylvester McCoy, Sophie Aldred, Cartmel, and the 80s in general. The author of this audio should have been foaming at the mouth to attack and rip into the actors and their established characters. If the author would have gone to jail for attacking the actors -- then this would undoubtedly be a true classic." - Deeply Unbalanced Reviews Weekly (November 23rd, 2000) Sylvester McCoy Speaks! ----------------------- "Did you notice I started the audio play naked in a recording studio and we never did record a scene where the Doctor put clothes on? So here he was - running through abandoned warehouses, fighting space demons, toppling governments, all while completely naked! Except for carrying the question mark umbrella, after all he wouldn't want to get a cold." Sophie Aldred Speaks! --------------------- "I don't know if he was method acting or just being anti-social, but yeah, he was a naked a lot." Rumours, Slander, and Libel --------------------------- In 1999, it was announced that Doctor Who would soon be returning in an exciting series of mouse pads. Fandom had hit an all time low. Crushed by 10 years (okay, actually 20 years) of neglect from the BBC, and a failed American television movie - fandom had lost hope. At conventions Doctor Who luminaries such as Nicholas Courtney and Fraser Hines often had to share autograph tables with Deep Roy and the guy who played the robot in Lost In Space. Not to mention a humiliating Sci-Fi Con in Dallas where Sylvester McCoy got second billing to the original Ewoks and a cardboard cut out of a Cylon. Just when all hope was lost, Big Finish audio adventures were announced. I knew immediately that the duty fell to me to completely ignore them for 6 years, until I saw a handful in a bargain bin at The Works. The idea for the new series apparently came to producers Gary Russell and Jason Haigh-Ellery in 1996 when they thought to themselves "Hey, how can WE cash in on this Doctor Who thing?" Only much later did the company secure a license from BBC Worldwide to produce a series of audio plays, because that's the sort of thing you do if you don't want to get sued.