/******************************************************* * CANNON MASTER CHRONICLES * * PRESENTED BY: Cyril "Canon Master" Fitzgerald * * ISSUE: #37 * * DATE: 10 JUNE 1997 * *******************************************************/
Doctor Who was brought to Japan by an officially licensed publisher - Sailor Fuku. Sailor Fuku published various illustrated novelizations of televised Doctor Who adventures. More information can be found on Sailor Fuku in my article "Is There A Canonical Female Doctor?", Cannon Masters Chronicles #6.
It came to my attention that the suspect, Mr. Charles Daniels of California, had been distributing, through fan networks, Japanese novelisations alleged to have been released by a firm incorporated as Electric Bukkake Publishing Corporation.
My first suspicions of his claims came when I glanced at my personal library and saw no indications or records of these books ever entering my extensive archives.
I immediately contacted the BBC and Sailor Fuku Publishing Corporations. I explained in detail the claims made about the Electric Bukkake novels and requested that any records on this matter be immediately dispatched to my research centre. After several weeks of waiting, I eventually received contact from both institutions. Both claimed to have no knowledge of or affiliation with Electric Bukkake Publishing. So a second mental red flag appeared for me.
I turned to Mr. Daniels' copious remarks, which are very detailed. It was from his own account that I started my next line of inquiry. I needed to PROVE that Mr. Daniels was in Asia at the time period he specified - late 1989. Mr. Daniels claimed to be indulging in "sex tourism" during his visit. In an attempt to verify this fact I telephoned every licensed brothel and massage parlour in Thailand.
After a personal expense of £ 6,647.83 in telephone charges, I had not uncovered a SINGLE agency that claimed to have dealt with Mr. Daniels during this timeframe. So, if Mr. Daniels was lying about being on a sex holiday, he was also most probably lying about WHERE he acquired these novels.
I then called upon the various officially published reference materials at my disposal. I checked all reference works published by the BBC from 1985 to the present day. Not one made any reference to Electric Bukkake. The third red flag was now firmly poised.
The next logical step was to contact Mr. Daniels directly. I composed an electronic mail and sent it to Mr. Daniels on 23 March 1997, 03:35:16am (GMT). The reply I received from Mr. Daniels was simply a re-iteration of his earlier statements, which I was currently investigating.
In an offer to put a settlement to the issue, I requested that Mr. Daniels send me the original Japanese copies of the novels he purchased. Mr. Daniels wrote back and noted that the original novels were not for sale, but he would be happy to provide me with a selection of photocopies from the alleged novels.
I responded to Mr. Daniels, informing him that I currently maintain the largest Doctor Who library in all of Kent. I also mentioned that I would be grateful for his donation to that library and included my personal address in Tunbridge Wells.
Mr. Daniels replied again. This time stating he still would not be willing to part with the originals. He elaborated that he would require some form of recompense if he ever did decide to part with the books. This was obvious ploy to throw off my investigation.
To call Mr. Daniels' bluff I offered him limited access to my library on any future visits to Tunbridge Wells. Mr. Daniels feigned disinterest in exploring my archives and suggested it was unlikely he'd ever visit Tunbridge Wells. To counter this evasiveness, I offered Mr. Daniels a trade, he flatly refused.
The Fourth Red Flag was the death knell.
Mr. Daniels claims -
1) He knows of and maintains possession of books that are unknown to the BBC and Sailor Fuku
2) He was on a sex holiday, and yet no records of a Mr. Charles Daniels appear on any licensed adult physical contact institution in all of Thailand
3) He knows of and maintains possession of books that have eluded researchers such as myself and Peter Haining
4) He knows of and maintains books that he is unwilling to donate to or trade with the largest privately held collection in all of Kent.
Final Summation -
If it isn't in my library -- it doesn't exist. And it's definitely not canon. I did pick up 5 copies of the "English translation" written by Mr. Daniels. One of these copies I have placed in my apocrypha section - a section I use to amuse my dinner guests. The other 4 have been placed firmly in my sub-library in the FRAUD section. The books in the fraud section are reserved for those highest offenders in the world of Doctor Who fiction, and once a work is placed there - it leaves a dark scar on the perpetrator's very soul!
Previous Issue: #36 "Why TARGET Novelizations Are More Canon Than Televised Adventures"
Forthcoming Issue: #38 "Why Serials With Odd Numbers Of Episodes Are Not Canon"
"If it's not in my library, It's not CANON!"
- The Canon Master